Trendy Trendy Space Vegans: Featured Musician- September 2011

© TTSV.

We represent a consortium of freedom strugglers who hail from medium sized towns throughout the cosmos. Thrust together by the cruel hand of fate and the cold fist of destiny, we soon discovered that we were the only apostates in the galaxy blessed with the requisite moral fortitude to oppose the evils of consensual space sex and the intergalactic jackboot of omnivorous oppression. Moreover, we [expletive deleted] babies, [expletive deleted] children, and [expletive deleted] each others’ wives.

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Q. How would you describe your music?

“Our music has most often been described simply as: “Squishing your fingers gingerly through a large calyx of dicks.”

Q. Influences/ Inspiration (friends, family, other artists)

“Whiskey.”

Q. Who is the teen heartthrob of the group and why?

“Regretfully, we have not received the latest Tiger Beat polling statistics, so this question is impossible to answer based on empirical data at this time.”

Q. How many licks does it take til you get to the center?

“Under optimal conditions with an assumed constant lick rate of 4.7 licks per second, one can theoretically lick one’s way to the center in a matter of minutes, completing the task in under 1000 licks. In practice, however, the answer can vary significantly. The underlying reason for this variance is that, even with topological simplifications to the muscular hydrostat and the assumption that a uniform rate of salivation of average pH is secreted throughout the act, one is still confronted with a multitude of uncontrollable ad hoc parameters, which are difficult to predict and complicated to measure. For example, the physical strength of the tongue under observation. “

Q. If each of you were super heroes, what would your super hero names and powers be?

“If?'”

Q. How do you prepare for a show?

“clouds know how to drift

a jezebel bares her breasts

U2 sucks my balls”

Q. What music influences you the most?

“We believe you misunderstand. The question you meant to ask was, “What music is most influenced by you?” The answer is as obvious as pi: all encompassing.”

Q. If someone wrote a book about your band what would the title be?

“My Struggle.”

Q. What was the best show you have played to date and why?

“The show occurred around the post-intergalactic marker 15,410.7z . It was the first time most of us had ever ventured to the Great Barred Spiral and it was, as it is for most travelers, a magnificent system of floral splendor—in a word: “magnifique.” To us, it was nothing short of panty-soiling. Bowel movements were nominal, the arena was sold out, M&M’s were not brown, and the full-spectrum pyrotechnics and photon show were simply astounding. Upon our arrival we were greeted with a spread of some of the most delicious Earth-flesh sandwiches we had ever experienced at the time and we feasted ravenously upon them. We were assured none of the Earth-flesh had come from space. After the show we were treated to exotic groupies from all 14 corners of the multiverse, who we roughly “took” and subsequently enjoyed. End of transmission.. “

Q. Top five all time bands?

“A. 1. Aids 2. Rubber 3. Sweat 4. Wedding 5. Wrist”

Q. If you could play a show anywhere in the world, where and why?

“Japan.”

Q. What do you love most about being a musician?

“Wang dang sweet poontang”-Bill Cosby

Q. Any last words or shout outs?

Trendy Fuzz thanks Space Pat, Leighman Master of the Multiverse, and Vegan Andy

Leighman thanks the Multiverse, Trendy Fuzz, Vegan Andy, and Space Pat

Space Pat thanks Trendy Leigh, Vegan Andy, and Trendy Fuzz

Trendy Andy thanks Space Fuzz, Patman Master-of-a-small-corner-of-his-own-little-verse, and Vegan Leigh

Collective Vegans further desire to lavish non-creepy praise upon Superintendent Brue and the Crew of the Space Station. Moderately creepy praise shall be bestowed upon the inhabitants of Club Underground.


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